THE EXTENTION OF SUSPENTION

Today February the 9th, and this is more a reflection than a stupid boring story made up by the sickly power of my imagination, I saw the light.
I opened my eyes.
I don’t know exactly how it happened, when or even WHAT!
Perhaps –and most probably- the summer magic really affected on me and made me totally blind.
Now, I do have some notions, memories and even fuzzy ideas of what December and January were. However I do not clearly understand it at all.
On the other hand, this is not THAT unusual jajaja I can say. I don’t remember September or October either. I’m still wondering what happened there.
The Denial. That’s the only thing I can think of. I deny to be a grown up, I deny to be pushed to the right path, the illuminated, as some say.
Yet, this is not the right attitude.
Somebody once told me, that for being 23 years old, I have done a lot. She was probably right, but I’ve been doing “good and bad” stuff, almost in the same quantity and quality.


Now I realized that I lost great opportunities in my life, I probably took some others but I’m not really aware of that.
Rafa, when you left, I saw the truth. Something that I always knew deeply inside I just didn’t want to assume or rescue it from hell’s jaws, “that’s it” that was.
That period actually ended, and a long time ago. Now it’s time for us to take new paths.
And finally, we are still young (as Dylan would probably say “forever young” ñiac).
We can do a lot of new things as well as experience many exciting situations, that is life about, at least that is what I can say by now. Tomorrow life could not be seen that positively, factually speaking.
I couldn’t care less if I have to cry again, or laugh or be suspended… that’s part of my life and I really enjoy doing it, since I do learn of every single tear, smile or laugh.
What I left, I ‘m sure I won’t recover it. What I gained is part of me now… (As well as all what I left since the Emptiness is something empirically real jajaja)



This is a stupid reflection anyway, because is totally clear, nothing unheard or unseen.
But when you write some “stupid” things life seems to be lighter, and that’s what I really want to achieve this year, I WANT TO BE LIGHTER, I want to dance reggeaton, laugh constantly out loud, and be always smiley(it' s not that I had a great deal of depth! ja!..no). SUSPENTION that’s the key word in order to get happiness, Happiness?? I got a little bit idealistic, really.
But the real sense of this idea is understandable. Isn’t it?
Most of the time I’m not sure of what I say.
Alguna vez escuché “voy a subir algo a esto, porque es como nuestro hijo” ahí te ves poh!

Crearé cosas ahora... mi mente esta en procesos neuronales activos... no sé que productivo pueda llegar a ser eso ya que la mayoría de mis neuronas están en desuso o agonizantes, esperemos que en algún punto se sientan estimuladas y re-vivan, de lo contrario me convertiré en un macetero.
La vida de los maceteros puede parecer inútil, pero tal vez es solo una inocua forma de observar la vida… también se puede aprender de la observación... Por eso no es bueno hablar mucho.
Hago una invitación a la postura de macetero, con flor claro.


Wasn’t I supposed to be?
I love tag questions

Este mes, sería mes para escuchar a Adam Green, creo.